


Littering

by GayDemonicDisaster (scrapheapchallenge)



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Gen, Snake Crowley (Good Omens)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:34:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27433627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scrapheapchallenge/pseuds/GayDemonicDisaster
Summary: Someone shared a snippet from the Oxford Mail newspaper in a Good Omens group yesterday. Oxfordshire is where the fictional village of Tadfield is located. We don't have large snakes in the UK (we have little grass snakes, and also pretty small adders, our only venomous snake, but nothing larger). So I wrote a short silly thing to go with the article.
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 40
Kudos: 120





	Littering

Crowley drove along, squirming in his seat. Occasionally swearing under his breath, and scratching at his leg and scalp in irritation.

“Bloody hell!” He finally snapped, and pulled over at the side of the road.

“Bloody shedding,” he muttered. He eyed up a tree by the verge, nice rough bark: that ought to do the trick.

He turned the engine off and glanced around, it was dark and only occasional flashes of headlights from other cars zoomed past. It’d have to do.

He shifted into his snake form, hissing in annoyance at the shreds of skin peeling from his flanks, then slid into the drainage ditch at the side of the verge, to loosen up the skin a little, then wiggled up the other side of the bank.

Next Crowley coiled around the tree, rubbing the itchy dead skin off on the rough bark, with a soft hiss of satisfaction.

After a little while he’d peeled most of it off, save for a bit near his tail. He shifted into a half human form and picked at it with his fingers a bit to finish the job. Much better.

Finally he hopped the ditch back to the parked Bentley and got in, he didn’t want to be late for the party at Anathema and Newt’s. Aziraphale was already there. It’d be much more enjoyable now he wasn’t itching any more.

Shame he forgot to clean up the shed skin before he left...

* * *

Next morning Aziraphale peered at Crowley over the top of his newspaper, as the sleepy demon gulped down some black coffee.

“Crowley?”

“Mmm?”

“Did you come down the Eastern by-pass last night?”

“Uh yeah?”

“What did I tell you about littering, dear?”

“Littering?”

Aziraphale handed over the paper.

  
_(can't see the image?[CLICK HERE.](http://ukshires.net/AO3/shed-snakeskin-article.jpg))_

“Oh shit.”

Aziraphale gave him a stern look.

“Sorry, Angel.”

“Quite. Now don’t do it again. It’s not nice scaring the locals like that.”

“Huh, says mister ‘thousand-eyes-be-not-afraid’” Crowley snarked back.

Aziraphale rolled his eyes and sipped his tea.


End file.
